because we are humans,civilised citizens, living in a society.

we can be free as long as we dont harm anyone.by words or behaviour.

by being civilised,doesnt mean that we curtail what we are..agreed our freedom ends where the existance of others start but that doesnt give anyone right to rule others...why do we have to always think twice b4 being self..

We don't always have to; I think we choose to and get used to choosing that way. Ironically, it becomes easier to choose being what we are not!

One reason for such choices is that every one (most of us) wants to "fit" in. Whether it is right is a different matter!

I believe/hope that, over time, everyone (some of us) starts being themselves.

i hope so too...life would be lot easier for everyone then..the question of acceptance woulnt arise

Oh no.. I meant that I think the question of acceptance still remains, just at a smaller scale . We kind of accept the situation of being with those that accept us and those that we accept.

On another note, sometimes I feel that our complaints are a reflection of our own inadequacies! We interpret that others require us to put up a mask, because we might think/believe that having a certain trait is important. If we did not think that, we would find it easier to neglect the need for that mask. It is our perception that unless we have a mask, they will not accept us, and our desire that we must be accepted by one and all.

Perhaps, when we get over that, we tend to shed the mask...

Just a thought...

agreed....it on both the sides.... somewhere down the line both self psychology and others force to design the mask...

when will the day come when we get accepted as we are and not on the basis of the designer mask...

I think your statement, "when will the day come when we get accepted as we are..." is contrary to my view that we have to let go of the desire to be accepted by everyone. We will be accepted by a few or a large number of people, but not everyone!

I think the day of acceptance of my view will come sometime as we (read you) get older, brain-wise.. My case is that of वरचा मजला रिकामा.

You can, even now, take the attitude that you don't care about making everyone happy! Of course, it is not practical many times, but it works many times :)

It is a matter of happiness, rationality, and success! Our society rarely applies happiness as a measure of success! Add to that the fact that human thinking is irrational. Rational thinking should say there should be no war, no boundaries; but we have all of it!

A great man has said "Success is doing what you love and doing it the right way" But, we mortals don't define it that way. Our success is usually defined by "fitting in." We are not allowed to be happy teaching at an unknown primary school in Ladakh. We have to be happy only if we have 400 patents and every Chatur in the world is seeking us!

But, coming back to when will we (everyone) be accepted by everyone else? I don't think it will happen in your life time..

Maybe, in mine :-) (j/k!!!)

Well,my basic idea is of acceptance is nt among everyone!! We care acceptance from those special ones in life..rest is not our(read mine)concern...we try level best...but then we realise that if acceptance is achieved without mask then that is truely valued otherwise it is nt acceptance,it is changing your persona...and no one is worth that!!

i have a question...do we like people who are loud,upfront in critizing other things etc(..basically bad behaviour...something tat goes on in all our heads !)???
no.(atleast i dont!!)
so the mask!
we are doin the world a service by wearin it..keep it up!
mask accha hai na??

ridz,bt the person who is into the undesirable behavior never wears mask!! itz the people around him who wear mask and shy away from placing him right!! and some bad behavior that goes around in our heads is a part of our personality...we do express it somethimes but wen we dont that is not masking that is knowing wen to say wat,but imagine a grl of ur tastes starts squealing about barbie dolls just to be accepted by frnds!! that would be masking!!

In most cases,

if "We care acceptance from those special ones in life..rest is not our(read mine)concern"

then, "no mask"

But, we should be ready to accept that even special ones have the right to say, "I don't like you for who you are" and then it is your choice, if you want to wear a mask, or genuinely change.

But, maybe, we need to define what good "scenarios" to establish some common ground. Sometimes, I think :

a. I feel like always scolding people if they don't agree with my views.

[need change, not mask]

***is different from***

c. If ssskb asks about personal life, I might lie/avoid; if abcd asks about personal life, I will not.

[mask for the unknown]

***is different from***

b. If ssskb talks about free will, I will respond using my ID; but if abcd talks about it, I will respond anonymously!

[mask for the known]

So, maybe, we are talking of mask as a means to avoid conflict... maybe.

well said, "itz the people around him who wear mask and shy away from placing him right!"

maybe....